A Christmas Trip To New York City
A Magical Post Pandemic Getaway
What do we think about the world of travel - is it something we find to be cathartic, something perhaps needed as a kind of a reset? Or is it just something that should be avoided at all costs in an inaccessible world? Or do we roll the dice every so often in the hope that the destination is worth it in the end? There is a kind of trade off to be had. It took some plotting and a lot of planning, but last week I finally got to go back to New York! My first post pandemic holiday - something of a magical getaway. Time away that was much needed, for a multitude of reasons. Travel is not spontaneous when you’re me - it’s something that is so difficult and ranks among my worst experiences and is something I dread. I cannot just ‘learn’ it.
Christmas time in America is pretty spectacular, especially because of the gorgeous decorations that are seemingly everywhere! The feel of hope was just about everywhere. So. Where else to write about the experience but Substack?
Call it a pandemic project if you will: since the first lockdown I had been saving to go back to the States, so I had something to look forward to ‘on the other side’. March 2020 had been a supremely weird trip over, as I’d gone (and escaped!) just as Covid 19 came to America; Broadway closed down the day I arrived, and most of 5th Avenue the second day. 10 days after I returned home came lockdown 1 in the U.K.
I’d been clamouring to come back - and my student diary makes numerous references to the other side of the world. It’s a hankering, a yearning, something of a fascination to escape, and to explore. A Christmas time trip to New York City was always going to be a very tantalising prospect.
A lesson in (bad) access
Oh Heathrow. I had such high hopes following a great access related experience in 2020. But this was just pretty shambolic - even with the efforts to be inclusive.
I’d booked assistance - and I’ve written about how travel is actually super stressful, as I’m an Autistic person. (Read here.) The assistance is listed on the website. Several staff members were really unhelpful, and used a reductionist language - and insisted that assistance was for “wheelchairs only”. Often quite aggressively. This is despite the sign you’ve just seen. Which I moved to a more prominent position, just to highlight this. I was also embarrassed and felt infantilised throughout the process; you can read more here. The sunflower lanyard was so often abused and misused as a scheme during the lockdowns - I reported about this for Insider, for example - but the rollback of access is so stressful. Next time I probably will not bother, wherever I go!
I’d been left stranded at JFK as my driver was almost an hour late; check in was also hideous. Yep, I had a little cry, wishing for home; it was so unnecessary and so unfriendly. Access is a right. I’m a human being, too.
Christmas lights are all around
It sort of struck me that the U.K. is ‘doing Christmas’ early this year - so things like lights in November. It’s a bit… uncommon? As I flew out I had started to notice more and more that Christmas was in the air. I love it. But the city was truly something else - enough to be extensively documented on Instagram by yours truly. Christmas trees are just everywhere. How gorgeous is this?
Yes, I had to stop every few steps to snap away. Even statues and architecture I remembered from 2020 had been given a bit of a spruce up.
It’s not always clear as to when there will be lights being turned on; on day 2 Cartier had their light show. That was unlike anything I had seen before - complete with a quick walk away. Traffic has been blocked off and redirected; props to police officers assigned to that, I’d often feared being squished, as traffic just does not stop… ! It’s not great access either.
But how beautiful is this? I think this brought back a sense of wonder I had lost somewhat over the pandemic.
Lunch with friends is the best
Almost a year ago an American friend had invited me to come to lunch if I happened to be visiting any time soon. We’d been introduced by email in a professional capacity; they’d made me laugh and they’d made me cry myself stupidly happy. I was so excited to finally make this happen - and paying subscribers will get a piece in their inbox later this week about that.
But this is one of the highlights of this year. Someone around my own age took me out to celebrate the book finally being published! We chatted and gossiped - over Avacado toast and ice cream! Yes, I am a millennial stereotype in action.
(And yes, I snapped an ‘art date’ photo for Instagram.) But someone who gets it? That’s an ‘I got you’. This year has been a bit stressful, health and work issues all came together in a horrible mess. But sometimes we need someone to just hold that hope for us.
And yes, it was damn fine toast, too!
To live without shame is a radical act
Day 2 of my trip coincided with International Disabled People’s Day. And this was so great to see; I also love Lucy Webster’s idea of us each being gifted cake as an act of allyship once each year. It would be a nicer world!
While away I sat with my thoughts, and tapped into what I was thinking and feeling. Properly. We could all perhaps undertake this a little bit more - the book Alonement is great on this.
One social media post alluded to how to live without shame when it comes to disability is a radical act. I couldn’t agree more. And it’s something I’ve had to really unpick, unlearn and battle against this year. I will not be made to feel ashamed any more. In that vein, I took myself off to Central Park Zoo again.
I like to learn, okay? I’m tired of justifying this inherent need; I want to see more of this world before I go. There is so much to see and to do in this world. I’m curious by nature. But I have got to find another way to live this life; I will not indulge in emotional or free labour, not any more. I want to feel wonder. And I want to learn. I will not apologise for this any more.
Central Park is lovely; it’s quiet, well laid out, and a brilliant place for Autistic individuals. I’d definitely recommend it. The tropical zone is a definite highlight, especially as it is so unlike anything in the U.K. There are hardly any barriers or roped off areas - meaning that birds, such as those pictured, are surprisingly up close and personal.
Added to that, I ventured out to Barnes and Noble - and got myself a copy of the new book by Alice Wong. I’ll be reading more disability books next years as a resolution to try and keep.
Covid 19 has an impact
From spurious medical testing tents to the lesser time spent interacting socially, to the signs you take exposure risks on entering certain medical establishments, Covid 19 has definitely had an impact. It makes access so much harder, and it added a lot to my journey as well in terms of heartache and extra barriers.
Would I go back? Probably not - the access experience was not worth it for such an expense. A good experience, but one with a high cost. Access benefits everyone, but this is perhaps best relegated to ‘once in a life time’ experiences. I learnt a lot, and I feel like I’ve dropped back into myself; this is the most ‘me’ I have felt like in a very long time. Time to take stock is something we all ought to do. It’s a Christmas present to yourself.
Out Now!
Are you looking for a Christmas present for someone? Perhaps you’d like my book - some wonderful people have endorsed it, after all.
Natasha Lipman, journalist and host of The Rest Room podcast: “The Autism Friendly Cookbook is a striking manifesto on the importance of accessibility in cooking. With adaptations front and centre, this book from Lydia Wilkins is sure to become a kitchen staple.”
Steve Silberman, author of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity: “Cooking is one of the foundations of independent living. This charming, inviting book is designed to make this basic life-skill accessible to everyone. It's not just a collection of tantalizing recipes, it's a celebration of autistic community.”
Chloe Johnson, editor at Disability Review Magazine: “A delightful guide full of important information for neurodivergent foodies - we've needed this for years!”